The Petting Zoo from Hell
by imanut
Summary: What happens when the Sohmas meet the Fullmetal gang? Idiocy and pure humor, that's what! please read and review! no flames please...we're very sensitive. cowritten w Mimorinu


"Attack of the Petting Zoo from Hell"

by Mimorinu and imanut

A Furuba and FMA crossover (yay!)

imanut: hello my friends! I've returned and now have a partner in crime!

Mimorinu: Hello imanut's "friends." Hope you like our conjoined story!

imanut: YES! This has been eating at me –er um…_us_ for a long time now. So today we bring you craziness! YAY CRAZY!

Mimorinu: "A long time"? Aww come-on! It's only been itching a day!

imanut: Shush you! They don't need to know that!

Mimorinu: Get on with it already!

Imanut: Fine…KYONKITCHI! DO OUR DISCLAIMER!

Kyou: ….fine….these idiots own nothing…_thank God!_ kicks cameramen ROLL IT! stalks off

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Chapter1 A Hazardous Greeting

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Roy/Is trying to avoid doing paper work/ "Almost there…." /Gets close to escaping through the door. He opens it and comes face- to-face with Hawkeye's pistol/ 

Riza H.: "Where do you think you're going, sir?" /Looks annoyed/

Roy/tries to come up with a good excuse to save his ass/

Hughes/Grabs Roy around the shoulder and drags him away from Hawkeye/ "Roy have you seen my new co-worker? I **swear** she's almost as cute as my 'lil Elysia!"

Roy: "No, not lately. /whispers/ Thanks for saving my butt."

Hughes: "No problem. What are friends for?" /looks around for listeners/ "Now come meet my new co-worker! I'm sure you'll just love her!"

Roy: "Fine. How old is she?"

Hughes/as he begins to answer, he looks in front of him only to stop short to find Shigure running towards them. Uses Roy as human shield/

Roy/is confused but hides it by raising an eyebrow/

Shigure: "Help! Help! Yuki-kun and Kyonkitchi are gonna kill me! I'msoscared/hides behind Hughes/ Hide me! HIDE ME!

Ayame: "'Gure? Where are you! Yuki and Kyou think it's _my_ fault they tripped and kissed! They're after me for your mistake! Help/hides behind Shigure/

Kyou and Yuki: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Shigure/pushes Ayame out to face their fury/ "Forward ho! my valiant hero! Fight the demons! For me!

Ayame/sees Yuki and Kyou running in unison towards his trembling form. Closes his eyes and prays for help when low and behold, he feels a protective hand pull on his arm./

Hatori: 'Idiots' /steps in front of Ayame. Looks annoyed./

Kyou and Yuki/can't stop and swack! They run into Hatori. Moan and groan./

Kyou: "Damn!" /rolls off of Hatori and rubs his head./

Yuki/Growls/ "Stupid waste of life, get OFF of me CAT!

Kyou/looks down and watches the rat struggle. Takes advantage of the position and rests his elbow on the rat's veiny forehead/

Megumi: "My…this is quite, how shall I put this…intriguing, is it not?"

Roy/Looks at Hughes/ "Who ARE these nut cases?"

Hughes/Shrugs at Roy's question whispers/ "Roy, maybe we should quietly busy ourselves with other…uh…work."

Roy/Looks at all the losers – er …people and shudders whispers back/ "Good idea…let's split-"

Megumi/Interrupts/ "I don't think we've met…have we?" /Has mischievous look in his hallow eyes/

Hughes/Looks at Roy then to Megumi/ "Look kid, we have some (cough cough) important business to take care of so go and…do something."

Yuki/Looks ready to kill Kyou/

Shigure: " Hughes, you may not want to – eh , call him a kid." /says shakily/

Ayame/Unaware of Megumi's…er…gifts, speaks/ "Why hello there, I am Ayame Sohma, Yuki's wonderful older brother. Who might I ask are the two of you? Yes, yes don't be shy, you in the sexy blue uniform."

Roy/Is getting pissed./ "I'm Roy Mustang. COLONEL Roy Mustang! The C.O. of the place."

Ayame: "Now you. This is silly but, why are you wearing black in the summer? Well I guess it really doesn't matter, anyway what is your name?"

Megumi: "Who I am…is not of importance. But to know who you are is a…privilege." /smirks/

Ayame/Puts his arm around Roy and chants/ "A colonel! A colonel!" /his face turns serious and whispers into Roy's ear/ "You know, I just love a man in uniform."

Roy/Begins to spaz/

Shigure: " My Aya! He's left me forever! I'msosad!" /cries/

Hatori: "Ayame quit torturing the colonel. It's not ver becoming. Oh, and Yuki, Kyou you-" /notices Kyou is asleep with his elbow still propped up on Yuki's head./

Yuki/Feels the elbow on his head slip and then he feels the back of Kyou's head smashing his into the ground/ "That's it! I'M GONNA KILL YOU/begins to beat the stuffing out of the poor orange kitty./

Kyou/wakes up to the feeling of the rat's punches to his already throbbing head/ "Oi! What the hell are you doing!" /unconsciously yawns from his drowsiness/ "I'm gonna kill you rat boy!" /lunges towards Yuki, gets thrashed, falls to the ground, passes out./

Yuki: "Finally."

Ed & Al/As they walk through the hall, they survey all of the chaos. They try to sneak away quietly/

Roy: "Fullmetal! Get your ass back here!" 'Save me!'

Al: "Colonel Mustang, what's going on here?" /surveys chaos once more/

Ed: "Why did you invite a circus into H.Q.?" /says it cheekily/

Roy/Ignores Ed/ Honestly, I'm not sure what's going on. But- /looks serious/ - whatever it is…it's really stupid.

Ayame/Sneaks up behind Roy then shouts/ "So! Two more men in uniform eh/whispers/ "Are you trying to keep them both to yourself? Colonel…how naughty."

Hatori/watches Ayame torture Roy for a while then decides to put an end to it/ "Ayame, what did I say to you earlier?"

Ayame: "Oh, Tori I was just having a little fun/looks at Ed and smiles goofy - like/ "Has anyone ever told you that with your short stature and girlish features that you are justpositively radiant? You would be even more so in one of my _fabulous_ designs!"

Ed/starts to go into one of his little rants /"WHOAREYOUCALLINGAGRAINOFRICESOSMALLTHATITCOULDN'TBEPICKEDUP,EATEN,ANDDIGESTED!" (for those of you who didn't catch all of that: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE SO SMALL THAT IT COULDN'T BE PICKED UP, EATEN, AND DIGESTED!)

Ayame: "My he's a feisty one isn't he?" /frolics off, his braid bouncing up and down/

Ed/calms down/ "I see what you mean when you say 'stupid'. What do you want me to do about it?"

Roy" "Suffer with the best of us."

_

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To be continued in Chapter2!

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imanut&Minorinu: Well, there you go! We hope you liked it!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!


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